Girl, Let’s Socialize
I don’t have an iPhone, I must admit, but girl, I won’t embarrass you by rocking the StarTAC. That was a sweet phone, but it ain’t 1996 no more, even though I’m busting out the quilted flannel jackets in about eight weeks. Watch for it.
I know you only roll with the iPhone, because it’s sleek and pretty just like you, so
I Kevin Lee made you an app, because I’m he’s sweet like that. And Philadelphia Weekly loves it, and we both know you do what they say, because you’re always on the local tip. I like that.
Girl, you and I aren’t friends on Facebook because we gotta keep our thing quiet. You know why. Still, girl, you’re welcome, to stop on, stop on, stop on, stop on by the Festival blog and like our stories with that button that says “Like,” and let me know you love us. Me and the crew work hard to put those together, and it’s for you. You know it’s always been for you.
Now, almost 2,500 people like us on Facebook, but you know only I like like you. You know that. But if you use our Facebook app, I’ll know what your interests are, who you be with, things to make you smile, what numbers to dial. If you goin’ be here for a while, I’m goin’ go call my crew, you go call your crew, we can rendezvous at the bar around two. And you don’t even need to make those calls, just use that app, girl, and then your crew already knows. My plan for Friday? Below. But shhh—don’t tell anybody.
I know what you’re thinking. “Commonspace? Are you a Communist?” Naw, I’m just a community organizer. I’m a local don, I do local things, and I share my steez with the people. It’s what’s right. You know that. No, wait, all these apps are free—I am a Communist! But you like that. It’s transgressive, and your daddy would hate me if he knew about me.
Commonspace lets you plot out the local spots where you need to be. Me, I got three shows and a bar night on Friday. So I head on over to Commonspace, where I’m all, “My car got destroyed by some thief so now I only got two wheels. Here are the three shows where I gotta be, and how can I get there on my bike???”
And then boom! Like your boy Isaac Asimov said about technology becoming indistinguishable from magic, I drop my Friday shows into my plan, click “Create Route,” say I’m getting around by bike (damn you thief!), and it spits out my Google path:
If you like, you can email the link to your friends. If you like, you can plan to be on the sidewalk as I ride by, my golden locks flowing in the breeze as I roll from show to show to show. It will be a sight to behold, with our fleeting contact made possible only by the glory of our apps.
I like you and you like me and I am you and you are me and we are all together, at least when we’re being creepy and our identities break down at 1:00 or so when I get to the bar after CHICKEN. Be there, and we’ll make out by the bike racks. It’s just what’s done.