In this series, get acquainted with your Philly Fringe artists. Tess Stumpf is not all of these dancers to the right—what a story that would be!—but she is their artistic director. Tess’s Infatuation Dance Company brings Inescapable Foreboding to the 2011 Philly Fringe.

Name: Tess Stumpf

Age: 22.

Where do you live now? South Philadelphia.

Where were you born? Allentown, PA.

What’s your show title? Inescapable Foreboding

What was the first thing you stole?
My older brother’s stuffed dog, Goldie. He is still sitting on my bed.

What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Taittinger Brut Rose Champagne.

What was the last performance you saw?
WIP Productions of Dance New Amsterdam in New York City.

If you were a “Founding Father,” which one would you be?
Ben Franklin. He lived in Paris for much of his life.

Do you care about the Civil War Sesquicentennial?
It’s all I can ever think about.

Who’s your favorite Phillies player?
Whoever Dan is because I met him once and got his number. Shazam!

Do you have relatives more famous than you?
My grandfather’s last girlfriend before he met my grandmother was Shirley Temple. That’s about as close as it gets.

What’s your least favorite country, and why?
North Korea. I don’t like their dictator. I call him Lil Kim!

Do you own a gun?
Who doesn’t have a gun? I wanted to kill a coworker of mine with it once, but I just didn’t have any time.

Do you have pets?
If I had any type of pet it would be dead within 24 hours I don’t care how long it takes for something to die. I lack good parenting skills.

If you weren’t an artist, what would your job be?

One of those bears that rides unicycles or a major league eating competitor.

What’s the worst thing you ever did for money?
Pushed over a retarded kid at a circus for 20 bucks.

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA?
A nun wearing sweat socks and sneakers. Not very godly.

Infatuation Dance will hold a fundraiser August 10, 6:00 pm, La Veranda Ristorante, 30 North Columbus Blvd., Philadelphia, $20. In September, they will bring Inescapable Foreboding to the 2011 Philly Fringe. Tickets on sale soon!

–Nicholas Gilewicz