Eric Singel, the creator of The Wedding Consultant, asks, “Most formal weddings are theatrical, and farcical, and absurd, and why would a gay wedding be any different?” With a timely subject for his Philly Fringe show, Singel offers forth Iris Holcombe, Wedding Consultant, for today’s Vital Stats. Holcombe saves the day in what the Inquirer called a “funny, way gay play” with a moral. Take it away, Iris!

Name: Iris Holcombe, Wedding Consultant

Age: A lady doesn’t tell, and a gentleman wouldn’t ask. [Ouch! –Ed.]

Where do you live now?
The Main Line. I daren’t be more specific; I don’t want to end up with paparazzi in my rose garden.

Where were you born? In a hospital.

Did you go to college? Naturally. Sarah Lawrence.

What’s your show title?
The Wedding Consultant . . . because it’s all about ME!

What was the first thing you stole?
A teenaged boy’s heart. Out of a jar in my Daddy’s laboratory.

What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Yes.

What was the last performance you saw?
It was something Prince Harry did at the rehearsal dinner for his brother’s wedding, but I don’t think I should describe it in polite company.

After the jump: Video! Compliments! Insults!

If you were a “Founding Father,” which one would you be and why?
First of all, let me congratulate you on your proper usage of the subjunctive. The entire founding of this country would have been done much more quickly and efficiently had there been (subjunctively) Founding Mothers present. And I assure you that, had I been (subjunctively) present, I would have been the biggest Founding Mother of them all!

Do you care about the Civil War Sesquicentennial?
Only if a rogue spelling bee is going to suddenly break out around me.

What’s the worst thing you ever did for money?
Am I being paid for this interview? [Ouch! Again! –Ed.]

Do you have relatives more famous than you?
No. Who are they? Nobody.

Do you know what the Internet is?
No, my assistant does all the computer work. I can’t even program my BetaMax.

Do you own a gun? If so, have you fired it in anger?
I decline to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me. (One of my ex-husbands was a lawyer; he taught me that answer. (They never did find his body.))

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA?
Naturally, I personally have never been on SEPTA, but I have heard the servants discussing it from time to time, so I’m going to guess . . . poor people?

Iris Holcombe is The Wedding Consultant for 12 Philly Fringe performances, September 2 to 18 at the Walnut Street Theater’s Studio 3, 825 Walnut Street, Philadelphia. Tickets on sale soon!

–Nicholas Gilewicz