Jim’s serious about the Fringe.

The festival is coming! The festival is coming! Nothing but the glorious ravage of the redcoats of boredom from here on out. Maybe as a warm-up you’ve caught some previews, but either way now in two days it will be time to put your dog in a kennel, phone the babysitter, and devote the next two weeks to Philly Fringe: a bowl of Fringe flakes for breakfast, Fringe fettuccine at the nearest Italian joint, and dinner and a Fringe show before heading to the Festival Bar. Jumping the gun a bit, and opening a day before the festival, is The Maids, starring Jim Ludlum. Read his less-than-Philly-sports-patriotic answers to our questions below. [Audrey: Sorry, Jim. One day you’ll Revere me for my unwavering quest to keep the Fringe free of turncoats. After the jump]

Name: Jim Ludlum.

Age: 25.

Show Title: The Maids.

Explain your performance in 2 sentences. To an 8-year-old. I get mad. Then, I get sad.

What was your favorite toy as a kid? There were no toys as a kid.

What do you love (or hate) most about Philadelphia audiences? I hate the fact that they might like the Eagles.

What would you do if you just inherited a pizzeria? Burn it down for insurance money. After a pizza or two.

Did you go to college or grad school? If so, where? Muhlenberg College.

Your refrigerator: condiments and beer, or real food? What the fuck kind of question is that?

Marvel Comics, or DC? I like books with words.

What’s your favorite nickname for Philadelphia? Something about cheesesteaks?

What’s the worst piece of advice you ever received? Did you follow it? I only give advice. I never take it.

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA? What’s a SEPTA?

The Maids runs September 6,7, and 8 at 8:00 pm, and September 9 at 3:00 pm, at Walnut Street Theatre Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut Street. $15.

–Audrey McGlinchy