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Joe LaPenta’s Personal Crush

Posted September 18th, 2013

Don_LemonCNNheadshotA lot of Fringe Festival shows tell your stories, and integrate your lives. Last weekend, you saw this in This is Not a Theater, The Living Newspaper: On Location, and All The Sex I’ve Ever Had. So we put out a call for your stories of important personal places, events, and crushes. Joe LaPenta wrote in with this tale:

CNN anchor Don Lemon has held me captive for years. When he came out, I almost exploded with joy. On August 28, 2011, in the midst of Hurricane Irene, I woke at 4:30 a.m. while sleeping on my couch, as if by destiny. On the TV screen was Lemon reporting from 12th and Market. I changed into the first outfit I salvaged, a tee and shorts I wear only around the house and wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in public. I drove into town at lightning speed and parked at 12th and Chestnut. I spotted him in the corner 7-11, destiny repeated. I waited for him to exit and asked for his autograph. He seemed a bit stiff, but when I announced that his coming out inspired me similarly, he perked up with discernible interest and we made small talk. As he turned to leave I beckoned him to ask a question. Turning to face me, I implored him to marry me. He grinned broadly and said, “I’m taken.” I feigned disappointment. For a few pregnant moments we stared smilingly at each other in silence. I swear he flirted with me. That scenario was my fantasy fulfilled.

Want to share your stories? Email me at NickG[at]fringearts[dot]com.

–Nicholas Gilewicz

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