Snorkels! Meet Shailer Kern-Carruth, of the 2011 Philly Fringe show BREW.

Name: Shailer Kern-Carruth

Age: 20

What’s your show title? BREW.

What was the first thing you stole? Cheap jewelry.

What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? I’m not allowed to answer.

What was the last performance you saw? Every moment is a performance.

What’s your favorite Philly intersection? 5th and Brown, I like the mural! [I used to live there! –NG]

If you were a “Founding Father,” which one would you be and why? John Adams, first is the worst but second is the best!

Who’s your least favorite Founder? John Jay, I didn’t even know about him until I looked these dudes up on Wikipedia, so he must totally stink.

Do you care about the Civil War Sesquicentennial? I think it’s neat. I’m pro-reenactments so I hope they pack a punch for the big 1-5-0.

What’s the worst thing you ever did for money? Money doesn’t taste as good as cookies.

What’s your least favorite country, and why? The United States, but it’s also my favorite. It’s home, after all.

Do you know what the Internet is? No, and no one I’ve ever asked has been able to explain it either.

Do you have pets? If I had a pet I would have a fat gray and white cat named Elmira and she would always cuddle with me at night but never sit on my face or wake me up before noon.

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA? One word: rats.

BodyFields Performance Collective’s BREW runs September 2 at 9:00 pm and September 3 at 6:00 and 9:00 p.m., at the Maas Building, 1325 N. Randolph Street, Kensington.