Betamales in their natural posture: the eager high five.

A betamale is an underdog of sorts. At least when it comes to women (or men): seducing them, dating them, and avoiding being rejected by them are all difficult tasks for the betamale to master, or manage to do one time. Luckily, a betamale has the arts (and computer science), and this is a field in which he can excel. At this year’s Philly Fringe, BetaMale Productions–composed of three, self-identified betamales–gives us their musical Awesome Alliteration: The Magical Musical. It’s the stuff of betamale dreams: nerdin’ out on literary devices in front of attractive and willing onlookers (in the case of very few most Philadelphia audiences). David, Joshua, and Zachary of BetaMale Productions answered our questions, and got sexist on us after the jump.

Name:  David Orlansky, Joshua Levin, and Zachary Kind.

Age:  75 combined years.

Show Title:  Awesome Alliteration: The Magical Musical

Explain your performance in 2 sentences. To an 8-year-old. A school district superintendent writes a wordy love letter to his girlfriend, but while reading the letter, she chokes on the words and dies.  The superintendent then bans all literary devices from the town, so it is sort of like Footloose but with the English language instead of dancing.

Do you have children? If so, do you love them? We’ll answer this in two parts:  Hopefully not, but if we do, we’d learn to love them.

What was your favorite toy as a kid? Our limited-edition Mel Brooks action figure.

What do you love (or hate) most about Philadelphia audiences? We love that our mothers are usually a part of them.

Your refrigerator: condiments and beer, or real food? We don’t have anything in our fridge. We decided to go on a hunger strike until opening night.

Favorite coffee shop? What do you order? We love Starbucks.  We usually order tap water.

What’s your favorite nickname for Philadelphia? The Small Apple.

What’s the worst piece of advice you ever received? You should produce musicals.  It’s a great way to make money!

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA? A wedding proposal.

A doctor puts a scope inside your ear. What does she see? She sees that we are tone deaf.  And we don’t like that you assume the doctor is a woman.

Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” or Cookie Monster’s “Share It Maybe”? Obama’s Call Me Maybe.

Awesome Alliterations: The Magical Musical runs September 7-9, 14-16, 21-23, and 28-30 at the SkyBox at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom Street. Times vary, $20.

-Audrey McGilnchy