If I can purchase a tie-dye dress at Kabbalah Salon, I’m there.

Once again, Wikipedia enlightens me and softens the slap of ignorance. Kabbalah, as defined by G-d-knows-who, is a mystical practice within Judaism meant to unlock ontological knowledge: why are we here? What is the purpose of life? Why does Madonna practice Kabbalah? I doubt Rabbi Rayzel Raphael will answer this last question in her 2012 Philly Fringe Kabbalah Salon, but she does promise to include members of all faiths in interactive storytelling and singing. Check out her Vital Stats after the jump.

Name: Rabbi Rayzel Raphael.

 Age: I ain’t tellin’.

Where were you born? Tennessee.

Show Title: Kabbalah Salon.

Do you have children? If so, do you love them? Yes, two. Sometimes.

What was your favorite toy as a kid? A swing.

What do you love (or hate) most about Philadelphia audiences? They wear black.

Did you go to college or grad school? If so, where? Reconstructionist Rabbinical College.

Your refrigerator: condiments and beer, or real food? Organic, gluten-free, wheat-free, and dairy-free fare.

What’s the worst piece of advice you ever received? Don’t quit the job. Listen to what they have to say first.

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on SEPTA? Other people.

A doctor puts a scope inside your ear. What does she see? Big Bird.

Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” or Cookie Monster’s “Share It Maybe”? Yes.

Kabbalah Salon runs September 7, 8, and 14 at 7:30 pm at Moving Arts Studio, 7425 Old York Road, Elkins Park. $18.

–Audrey McGlinchy